One year ago I would have never thought myself capable of this.
One year ago, I was too afraid to dream big. I was too scared to even think that I could work in theatre. To think that I could be successful in theatre. And here I am, being stupid and fearless and loving every second of it.
I have been formally accepted into New York Theatre Workshop's Production Management internship. And I'm moving to New York in ONE WEEK today. I still can't believe it, so I keep checking the email I was sent to make sure I didn't misread it. I can't believe I will be working in New York in February. I will be working with the top professionals in the business. I get to watch some of the best and most imaginative decisions be made in theatre. I get to see some of the biggest mistakes be made. I get to be around the work that is changing what theatre is and what it can be. I get to be inspired. I get to learn. And I get to be their lackey.
And for me, that is the dream I was so very afraid of. I was afraid to dream of going to New York and becoming a theatre professional, because the nightmares of failure and rejection were too intimidating. But not anymore. And this is the craziest thing of them all...I really think I can do it.
I'm not saying I'm going to be winning the Tony for Best Direction anytime soon. But you know what, WHY NOT dream big? I dreamed big when I changed my major my senior year from Education to B.F.A. Directing. I dreamed big when I sent my application to big time New York Theaters in the hopes someone will think I'm something. I dreamed big when I interviewed with New York Theatre Workshop, praying to God that I don't make a fool of myself, and so thankful that they couldn't see how much I was probably sweating.
So you know what? I'm going to do it. I'm going to fight for it. And I'm going to have a damn good time scrapping for food and rent in NYC because I'm going to be in a place where all of those big dreams actually have a shot of coming true.
Yes, I will be working on Caryl Churchill's new piece that is premiering with NYTW. Yes, Caryl Churchill is a playwright that completely changed my view of theatre when I first read her play Cloud Nine. Yes, I will probably get to see her, take creepy snapchat photos of her, and if I do meet her, I will totally be a huge fanboy and maybe cry a little bit. Yes, all of my dreams are coming true and I am so incredibly lucky and thankful.
Cheers, to good luck and big dreams!